Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
