a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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