Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
