What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I look better un-naked...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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