Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
