All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
