When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
