It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
