there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
honey bunches of taint.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
