I am in a vortex of obligation.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I deserve this hangover.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
