i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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