Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
