Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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