he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
What changed your mind?
Being sober
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
