He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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