its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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