Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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