Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
