we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
