can we get nightvision for the apartment?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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