But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
