There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
