he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
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