I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
