i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
