he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
