I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
