Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
