ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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