the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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