It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
