honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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