Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
