this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
