I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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