Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
