My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You took a bar mat shot.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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