No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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