wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Oh god it's open bar.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
