i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
