ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You may now shotgun with the bride
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
