Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
