Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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