I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
