cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
where are my eyebrows?
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