Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
