porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
