We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
