yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
