I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
