Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
