Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
