do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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