Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
