seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
