he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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