Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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