The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
