They should really pass out barf bags in church
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
